pessimistic day...

Today has been weird... ever since Tim and I got good news we have been living in this fantasy world, thinking oh this will be a piece of cake once we get my 20lbs lost and get the clomid going. We went to babies r us and looked around, we are in the market for a new car and went yesterday to look and picked out an SUV and talked about how perfect it would be for baby, today a friend of mine talked me into going to motherhood maternity with her and then had me put on the fake belly, DH and I keep saying well when we get pregnant this or that... why am I doing this to myself? I suddenly have an overwhelming feeling that this isn't going to be a walk in the park and feel as though I am giving myself false hope :( idk why I suddenly feel so pessimistic but it really sucks! I am trying to keep telling myself to leave it all in God's hands but that is easier said than done... for now I am going to just believe his will shall be done and in time we will be blessed with a beautiful miracle!

OUCH... but worth it!

Tim and I had our testing this morning, he had a SA and I had an Hsg. The HSG hurt worse than almost anything I have ever felt! However, great news, no blockage and the uterus looks perfect! Also, apparently, hubby is a SUPER STUD! The normal count is about 20mil he has 76 with 87% motility... needless to say the smile on his face... priceless, i could see his head getting bigger as she talked! The only semi-bad news, which I have actually turned in to positive news lol, I have insulin resistance. However, this could explain my weight issue! So I was put on metformin starting with 500mg/day for one week, next week I go to 1000 then the following 1500. I am not excited that I have Insulin Resistance because it puts me at risk for type II diabetes, however, the metformin should help with my weight loss! All in all, good day with good news! Next appointment March 1 for weigh in and metabolic panel! On our way to baby #1 hopefully! Once I lose 22 more pounds I will get my clomid woohoo! God is great!